Everyone wants a mentor … and everyone is busy.
That statement, uttered by an author teaching at a writing retreat over a decade ago, changed my life. His blunt statement was a virtual roadblock to success along the writing road. I wanted a mentor, but now I knew finding one wasn’t going to be easy.
My choice? Let reality and discouragement stop me or figure out how to find a mentor despite everyone’s busy-ness.
Are you expecting me to tell you my foolproof step-by-step process to find a mentor? Not going to happen. But I will share the “Who” of mentoring.
You say you want a mentor. Fine. But have you stopped to think about who you’re looking for? Beyond the obvious “I want another writer to mentor me in writing” – have you considered what characteristics make a quality mentor?
“… a good mentor doesn’t assume that you’re a loser just because you are coming to him for advice. He recognizes that you have talent and are successful already … At the very least, he should see your potential or otherwise not take you on as a mentee.” ~Debra Moorehead, life coach
When you’re considering someone as a mentor, look for someone who:
- Sets and Meets Personal and Professional Goals – If you want to progress along the writing road, you want to be assisted by someone who is moving forward too – not someone stalled out on the side.
- 2. Authentic – You want someone who will share both their successes and failures because you will face both of those as you pursue your dream.
- 3. Enthusiastic about Writing – Do you really want to be mentored by someone who is burned out and discouraged? Answer: No, you don’t.
- Values Ongoing Growth – You’re looking to grow as a writer, right? That’s why you asked for a mentor. So look for someone who will set goals for you and then hold you accountable to meet those goals.
- Doesn’t Compete with You – A mentor is for you and celebrates your successes. My mentors applaud me when I achieve a goal and yes, they also give me a swift kick in the pants so that I stop moping.
Okay, so you know who you’re looking for. How do when you ask someone to mentor you? First, pray about it. Then, follow these guidelines:
- Define your personality and communication style. Do you want someone like you or someone different?
- Be clear why you want a mentor. Explain why you’re asking and what you expect. Tell them why you’re approaching them.
- Allow them time to think about it. Be willing to accept a no. If yes is a possible answer, then no is also a possible answer.
- If they say yes, set up a trial period. Suggest meeting for six or eight weeks. After that, either of you can bow out – no harm, no foul. Your personalities may not click. Your expectations may not be met. Whatever. Always leave yourself – and your mentor – a gracious exit door.
5 Characteristics of a Good Mentor Click to Tweet
You Want a Writing Mentor – But Who are You Looking For? Click to Tweet
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