Thanks to Melanie who sent this scene for us to learn from! Let’s look at the original: Heather leaned against the doorframe, attempting to placate her conscience and quiet her pulse. Every moment it took Dean to notice her intensified her embarrassment. She wished she hadn’t come, but there was no way she was turning back now. The short, deserted walk to the offices had felt like a mile long gauntlet. Dean was staring at his computer screen, his finger jabbing the mouse occasionally. Finally, she could stand it no longer. “Welcome home,” she said, relieved that her voice didn’t crack. When he looked up at her, she completely forgot her anxiety. His handsome blue eyes crinkled with joy at the sight of her. They were eyes that had spent […]
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Dialogue Dilemma 1
We had so many great dialogue submissions – and because they were a little long, I’ve decided to spend the next few days going over three of them. Here’s the first one, from our Linda M. Let’s look at the orignal: (author: This is from Anna’s pov: She and her husband Jack are visiting her best friends preemie baby.) “Ellie!” She sits in a wheelchair while Nick helps her put the gown on. “Anna! You’re here?!” “Hey, man,” Nick and Jack give that old guy friend hand-shake-pat-on-the-shoulder thing. “That?” Nick steps back and takes a long look at Jack’s face. “Congratulations! I was just in seeing junior.” Jack pats Nick on the back, clearly evading the face/nose issue. “We’re going to see him now, right?” Ellie pats Nick’s hand. “It […]
Read the RestOh Where, are her Eyebrows? (Sung to the tune of “Hairbrush” by Larry the Cucumber)
Okay – this is for all those teenage angst moments — I’m a covergirl! *grin* If you want, go listen to the interview, and then FOR SURE go sign up for the FIGHT FOR JUSTICE IJM dinner/contest. (sorry, travel not provided. BUT, FUN is !!) Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming….
Read the RestThem are Fightin’ Words
I love House. (And I’m not talking about HGTV — this is a show about a doctor that has just about the best dialogue on the planet). I love House because he (and the other characters, like Wilson) say things that make me howl, stop the Tivo and beat the sofa in hilarity. Clearly, the writers of House have let their characters off their leashes, allowing them to say all sorts of crazy things, and create sparks that are delicious for the reader. Fighting words, I call them. And that is my super secret Susie hint to writing great dialogue. What are Fighting Words? Interruptions: “Hey Susie, we don’t have enough days –” “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a post here, Rachel?” Name-calling – “Maybe you don’t […]
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