in the past year i have taken looks at my mother’s (susan may warren) blogs and found that my mom likes to write about some of her experiences and events she witnesses. beware, my mom does not know i am writing this. lol, but this is the inside scoop on what really happens while she is writing those blogs.
These are true stories. upstairs-mom typing away at a blog or a book. downstairs-noah is hiding under the piano bench half screaming half laughing, peter is standing next to the piano bench with a scrubby brush and yelling something along the lines of “i am all powerful! mwa ha ha!”.
i am just arriving home from school and am not all that surprised at what i see, i run over to my brother and scream “hey, let him out of there!”. my brother turns around and scrapes me with the scrubby brush. shortly after that my mother emerged for air from her book writing tomb, breaks all the fights and returns to the depths of the tomb.
Upstairs-mom talking on the phone with an important person i have no idea about.
downstairs-peter and noah have constructed a fort using all the pillows in our house. i am watching tv and ignoring them completely. peter get mad that noah did something he doesn’t like. peter and noah start wrestling, i continue watching tv paying no attention to them whatsoever. peter accidently hurts noah, noah starts crying, runs to his room and slams the door as hard as he possibly can. i continue watching tv. half an hour later it starts again.
upstairs-mom editing a book and laughing at her own jokes.
downstairs-i’m having a bad hair day. i go upstairs for advice on how it impress jack (do not repeat that name) i say to my mom “mommie! i need help” no reply “mommie, look at this” i point to my hair. dear sweet mother looks without really looking, stares at me blankly then looks back at her book. “mom! i had a bad day” pretend to start crying at get her attention. my mom looks at me suddenly realizing that i am in the room. “what do you need, honey?” “nothing” i reply because i know that nothing helpfull to real life will come from her when she is in book mode. i leave(she doesn’t even notice).
the sad thing is, my mom really is a great mom. even if she did forget what kid she was supposed to bring to camp, or she even forgets she has kids because she is the character in her book who doesn’t have kids. She really is a GREAT mom. an AWSOME mom, but when she is in the middle of something the only stuff that come from her mouth are things like “……food?…do we have food?….”
there it is, the inside scoop on my mothers life. for all the fans who wonder what it is like to be an award winning authors child. that’s what it’s like.
|