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Chapter 2.1 Final RD

By on March 15, 2009 in Want to see a book in Action? Read the Blog-a-Book Series

  Chapter 2.1 Rough Draft Final   “Leaving L.A. just feels like running away to me, Greg, and the truth is…I never run away from trouble.” MacKenzie walked to the railing of the rooftop porch, overlooking Manhattan Beach. Greg didn’t exactly have a sandy front yard, but from three stories up on his Mediterranean-style home, she could see the Pacific Ocean surfing up the shore past the last gilded rays of the day into the shadows of twilight. Palm trees and volleyball nets along the shore shivered in the wind, and the sun iced the roofs of the neighboring homes with hues of gold. “No, Hayes O’Brien, 006, never runs away. You, MacKenzie Grace, are allowed to run. To hide, to go far, far away and lie low while the […]

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Chapter 2: Line Edits by SKD

By on March 15, 2009 in Chapter 2, Editing Basics, Want to see a book in Action? Read the Blog-a-Book Series

Oh, this is good stuff by Susan!  One of the things she wanted me to mention is, like with all editors, authors have feedback on all suggestions – because that is what they are, suggestions.  But, as evidenced by this edit, Editors really know what they are doing, and it has to be something I feel strongly about if I am going to disagree.  Great job on this piece, SK!  I’m going to accept changes, make a few more tweaks and it’ll go in the hopper!   Chapter 2.1 Rough Draft C with SKD line edits.   “It just feels like running to me, Greg, and the truth is…I never run.” [SKD: I had to read this sentence over a couple of times before it sank in that she wasn’t […]

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Chapter 2.1 MacKenzie SMW comments on RH edits

By on March 13, 2009 in Chapter 2, Editing Basics, Heroes, Want to see a book in Action? Read the Blog-a-Book Series

As usual, RH did a superb job of going through this – not only catching some deep POV fixes, but also some structural issues to do with her filmmaking, etc.  Note the discussion about using senses to create a picture of the emotion the POV character is feeling, also.   It so helps to have another set of eyes, doesn’t it?   Note too, there were a couple suggestions RH made that I may incorporate into the next draft, as I clean it up.  Then I’ll hand it to SK, and let the polisher at it!     RH comments highlighted in green, SMW comments highlighted in yellow, and new changes in RED.   As always – if you have any questions, head over to VOICES!   Chapter 2.1 Rough Draft B   “It just feels like running […]

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Chapter 2.1 Rough Draft – MacKenzie POV – RH Edits

By on March 12, 2009 in Want to see a book in Action? Read the Blog-a-Book Series

Chapter 2.1 Rough Draft A “It just feels like running to me, Greg, and the truth is…I never run.” MacKenzie walked to the railing of his rooftop porch, overlooking Manhattan Beach. Greg didn’t exactly have a sandy front yard, but from three stories up on his Mediterranean style home, she could see the ocean RH: SURFING (to use a beach term instead of a mountain term) up the store, reaching past the last gilded rays of the day into the shadows of twilight. RH: Lovely. Palm trees and volleyball nets along the shore shivered in the wind, and the sun iced the roofs of then neighboring homes in hues of gold. RH: Is there a reason you’re using “cold” terms like shivered and iced? I get that LA can be cold, but […]

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