Okay, so remember Darla from the plane yesterday? (Like I’m ever going to forget her!) ~ We’re going to talk about writing character emotions today, and the three main layers that authors use when writing them.
Feel free to refer back to Dear Darla during the examples. (Or maybe she’s already firmly embedded in your mind)
1. The first layer of writing emotions is simply that surface emotion – the name of the emotion. Darla turned me and said: “I’m a little nervous.” She stated her emotion.
Examples of this first layer:
~ She stood at the entrance to the gateway and fear gripped her.
~ She could not watch the children in the playground without feeling sorrow.
~ Never had she know such happiness as when she saw her son walk off the airplane.
We use this layer/technique a lot for quick emotions, or perhaps an introductory statement to a paragraph about that emotion. It’s a common technique – probably the most common and easy to write. Most people can connect with these feelings and generally can relate to the character. But does it prompt a visceral response? Probably Not. Because we’re just accessing that information level of the brain. We’re agreeing with that emotion, but not necessarily feeling it.
So, let’s go to the next layer:
Poor Darla said, “I’m so nervous I can barely breathe.” Yeah, that made everyone feel better. But through that admission, she connected a little more deeply with us.
This layer is called: Just under the skin: Naming the emotion and pairing it with a physical response.
Here’s some examples:
Fear clogged her throat.
Dread prickled her skin.
Her heart twisted with sorrow.
We understand what it might mean for fear to clog our throats. Putting a physical response to the emotion helps a reader apply their own physical response to the situation. Yes, I’ve been so afraid that I can barely speak. That’s what she must feel like. We’re now connecting on an informational and physical level.
But let’s go deeper:
Sweat dribbled down her brow. She gripped the seats with whitened hands. She practiced early labor breathing. Even if I hadn’t heard her on the phone, seeing her actions, I would have gotten it. I don’t need to know the emotion to know she was afraid.
The next layer is simply the physical response only. I call it the “touching the heart” layer. It’s where wow, we have so been there. We see behavior, or physical action, and the physicality of it reminds us of when we were in their shoes.
Here’s some phrases we might use that are simply physical:
Her pulse ratcheted to high – (fear)
Her breath caught (surprise)
She swallowed hard, her throat parched. (dread)
Her skin prickled at his touch. (creeped out)
Fire streaked through her, right to her toes. (desire)
We’re deeper into the character because we aren’t told what emotion to equate with the sense, but rather are left to experience the sense and apply our own experience and emotions to it. We have to dig around our heart to decide what emotions that might be, and when we find it, we understand on that heart level what the character is going through. You know I felt sorry for that woman when she began her early labor breathing.
This is where a lot of authors stop. They have connected with their readers hearts, made them feel what their characters feel and that’s their goal. But there is another layer, one that goes even deeper, one that makes us connect with the character, an almost spiritual connection.
And, we’ll talk about THAT layer…tomorrow!
Rachel sez: Over and over I’m learning emotion is the factor in fiction that grips the reader. The story can be a little weak, or the writing slow, perhaps even clumsy, but readers gush about it, “I cried, I laughed.” The author did one thing well - emotional layering.
Don’t be afraid to pause, close your eyes, see your character in peril or distress, then write what you see, how they move, fidget, react, whisper.
Have a great day!
